In time.

It has officially been more than a year since I last saw him. A lot has happened in this past year. I've grown and changed a lot. I've got a stronger outlook on life, love and people. I've changed my life, I've changed my home, I've changed my oil, my sheets and my clothes. After all these things have changed, one thing hasn't. I, inside, still have the same desire to see him as I did one year ago. Nothing has changed the way I feel about this boy. I miss being able to say goodnight, it was my way of letting him know that I was thinking about him as I feel into my peaceful slumber. I miss waking up with a pleasant "good morning!" from him. I miss the hugs he gave me, and the time we shared together. Probably the thing I miss the most is when he would scrunch up his face. For some reason, I loved that.

He wants to hang out. I'm terrified. But I need to do this. If for no other reason, I need to be, at least, at peace with myself when he is in the room. I owe it to our friends that we share. If I ever actually get the opportunity to attend a party of theirs, I need to be able to be there and have fun with them. It also wouldn't hurt to finally have him as my friend. It is something that I've been wanting for such a very long time. I'm still scared shit less, though.