Bitches are shit.

Ok, let me break it down. Gryffindor's dicks! They're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And Ravenclaw's are pussies. And any and every Slytherin is an asshole. Ravenclaw's don't like dicks, because Ravenclaw's get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything (you). Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If it weren't for Hufflepuff(Boobies), everyone would just fuck each other and get covered in shit. Thank god for foreplay. Thank god for Hufflepuff. Plus boobs are funny, and so are we.

A broken promise is just as bad as a rotten pancake.

You never called. I was expecting it. I am sure you either had good reason, or simply forgot. Either way, it would have been nice to hear your voice again.

I apologize for last night. I was drunk, and it wasn’t fair to make you feel guilty.

The truth is—I miss you. A lot. I think about you every day. I made it seem like I know what I want and that what I want is different from what you think I want. But that isn’t necessarily true. I would love to have never broken up, to have built our relationship a year stronger than it was, and to still be able to see you on Sundays and Thursdays. I realize that this is an impossible measure, especially now. But what I want is a living feeling. It is always changing. I never know exactly what I want until I don’t have it.

My proposition is this: We don’t date. I don’t like dates anyway, so this isn’t a problem. It is the time in our lives when we finally fucking hang out. I mean that! Either just the two of us, we and the cute couple you live with, or whoever! I’m ready to be in your life again, but more importantly, I’m ready for you to be in mine.

So, now that that has been said… When can we play? I'm ready for adventure.

Derek Williamson.