Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I owe it all to him.



No, I don't mean that literally, I'd like to say that I'm pretty great without him, and that I've got my own ways of giving back... But still.

I'll explain what the hell I'm talking about. This holiday season I've been more charitable than past years. I think it is because I actually have the money to this year. Last year I was so down on my coin that I made all my friends their gifts. This year I did it again, because I loved it, but this time, with the money I've saved, I've managed to give Christmas cheer to more people. I've got a better job and I spend less (arguable) money on myself and stupid things this year.

Hmmm... Maybe we should fast forward to a few weeks ago. I was walking through the union building at WSU when a hot coco machine caught my eye (best marketing tool ever). I stopped for a cup, knowing that you don't actually have to do whatever the hell those tables always want you to do. As I was pooring, I felt bad that I didn't even inquire as to why I'm getting this delicious free coco. Then I inquired as to why I was getting the delicious free coco. It turns out that the lovely people behind that purple table were promoting something called "the Angel Tree Program." Not unlike the "Giving Tree" where you take a paper flyer-ornament-thing (has the name of a child, age, and sizes, along with their wants and needs for Christmas). Anyway, you pick one and buy a gift for a needy child that would otherwise have nothing under the tree. I took two. I knew that I could afford it this year.

When I told my mother about it, she offered to help pay for it. She bought the clothes, and I bought the toys. This was cool because I was only planning on buying the toys. Anyway, on my way to the station the other day, it occurred to me that maybe we were only supposed to buy one of the gifts... As it was after Student Involvement Office hours, I consulted the inanimate "Angel Tree." Because the tree doesn't speak, it answered no questions. Instead, I picked up another child. I went shopping for them today. While out, I came across a blanket for a good price. It was so warm and fuzzy. I remembered that there was a child that needed a blanket on the tree. I bought the blanket. I get to take the last two children's gifts in tomorrow; I already took in my first two this afternoon.

This is all so helpful! I love it!

In addition to that, I donated 20 of my pay check to something about warming the soles of children (there was a shoe involved on the design of the flyer)... I wasn't exactly sure what it was, but it is all for a good cause!

No, I am not trying to toot my own horn, but I am trying to toot a Horn. Every time I donate, I think of Taylor Dewey Horn. He is so selfless. He is amazing and thoughtful; he is caring and giving. He will one day save this world from the thing it has become. It all starts with just knowing him. I have someone that I care because of. I hope that we've all got someone like that. Someone that makes us stronger and nicer and kinder and just all around better people.

Go out of your way to give someone else a Christmas this year. Please.

Monday, November 22, 2010


I know you read this...

I miss you.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

In time.


It has officially been more than a year since I last saw him. A lot has happened in this past year. I've grown and changed a lot. I've got a stronger outlook on life, love and people. I've changed my life, I've changed my home, I've changed my oil, my sheets and my clothes. After all these things have changed, one thing hasn't. I, inside, still have the same desire to see him as I did one year ago. Nothing has changed the way I feel about this boy. I miss being able to say goodnight, it was my way of letting him know that I was thinking about him as I feel into my peaceful slumber. I miss waking up with a pleasant "good morning!" from him. I miss the hugs he gave me, and the time we shared together. Probably the thing I miss the most is when he would scrunch up his face. For some reason, I loved that.

He wants to hang out. I'm terrified. But I need to do this. If for no other reason, I need to be, at least, at peace with myself when he is in the room. I owe it to our friends that we share. If I ever actually get the opportunity to attend a party of theirs, I need to be able to be there and have fun with them. It also wouldn't hurt to finally have him as my friend. It is something that I've been wanting for such a very long time. I'm still scared shit less, though.