As my time here on Earth grows, I wonder. I wonder if my time on Earth is the only time I have. Is there time to be spent else where? And if there is, do I deserve to spend it?
My faith in a god has ranged from up to down. I've believed, I've refused, and I stopped caring. And when asked what my religious beliefs were, I never really knew just what to say. I've searched and I've searched for the answers. I've asked for guidance and I've observed others receive. I never really quite understood how someone can tell me to believe in god, when I don't feel God believes in me. If I'm really a part of his life, then why isn't he a part of mine. He, or she, isn't absent from a lack of trying to make that relationship stronger. To be honest, so far my experience has been similar to my relationship with my pet dragon I got on my 17th birthday. I really only thought about him once, it just so happened to be in church.
I've explored religions. Not through text, but through the heart of someone who loves who they are. I've witnessed great faith and I've been explained the inner workings of the Lord and his church. My question is which church is the right church. After a couple of years, I came to the realization that the question is not which church, but why church. I suppose my feelings on church are similar to my feelings on marriage. If the relationship is strong enough, why does a couple need a piece of paper to prove that they're together. Why does the LDS church seal their wedded husbands and wifes for eternity. If the relationship is strong enough, I feel it will be the same through anything, without losing integrity, even through death. A relationship with god should be the same. If you feel strong enough about god, why should anyone conform or compromise their moral beliefs to match that of their churches. If you love god, he'll understand if you don't wear a skirt on Sunday. If you love God, he'll understand that you slip the F word into your vocabulary once in a while. If God loves you, you'll understand that he doesn't care if you're LDS, Catholic, Buddhist, or Jewish. When God loves you, you'll understand that he means for you to be in love with the love of your life. It doesn't matter if that is a man, or a woman. It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman.
If someone believes that Marriage should be reserved for one man and one woman, that is fine. To be quite honest, I don't want to be married. defense of marriage is asinine, and defending something so false and fake is too. Marriage doesn't mean anything for those who don't have love. Most marriages end in divorce anyway. What a real marriage needs isn't a ring, it isn't a piece of paper, and it isn't a family. What a real marriage needs is love. What a real relationship needs is love. All you need is love. I stand by that statement. I believe the root of everything we do is out of love for someone, something or another. I believe every choice we make, is our own. We make it on the spot, right then, right there. There is no plan. There is no map. Every single person on this planet is different. One thing we have in common, though, is love.
I also believe you can fall in love with anyone. Unfortunately, this includes those who are less than healthy for you. One can fall in love with a drug addict, a selfish prick, an insensitive asshole, an abusive, power hungry tyrant, or a man. I believe you can also fall in love with a woman. Anyone who tries to tell me differently obviously has not experienced that sort of love, and may never experience it, but it doesn't mean it cannot happen.
The secrete to life is love. Love is all you need.
