My Daemons Tell Me So

One more reason to dislike and distrust smaller and lesser humans: A child has convinced my immune system to compromise its strength to accept a virus of persuasion. Thus, I am ill. The last time I felt like this I was in arms, in a tent, and indoors. That sick was destined to fail because there was someone that took care of me. This sick might win because I refuse to be treated with lies. I feel drowsy, stuffy, runny-nosey... I can't sleep and I don't want to be awake. I can't even imagine drinking. WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO?!

I always thought that I would control my own destiny, but now I think that I only influence it. Upon that discovery, I began making poor decisions, and regretting nothing. I drink more. I drink a lot more. Not to hide my pain, but to distract it. If I reach the bottom of a bottle, then I won't see the bottom of my heart. It's a sad thing really, but I am honestly having fun. Obviously the school year will slow such behavior. It's hard enough being a theatre student without the alcohol addiction.

YOLO comes to mind: You only live once. For that reason, I have a bucket list of things to accomplish before moving into adulthood. For reasons that I wish to neither discuss nor address, I will neither discuss nor address the items on my list.


As one may have noticed, I've become a bit of a cynic. I hate things that I've never hated before. I approve of actions that I've once reprimanded. I've lost even more faith in humanity. But, that isn't going to stop me from doing the things I want. Bitches ain't shit, through and through. Despite disliking happiness in couples and seeing people benefit from coexistence, I will push through with my eyes averted. Careful not to catch that nostalgic bug that is comfort in humanity. For now, I wish to be alone emotionally. I have a lot to do and I can't be held back.

There are, of course, exceptions. I will not be attending festivities on this Friday night due to my impaired health. This is a super bummer, but bummer is as bummer does and sometimes the virus wins.

Wish me luck in fighting my daemons. A tissue is my sword, a bed my steed.