In One Fashion or Another.

It's that thing when you see everyone around you so happy, and you just want to rejoin them but you can't. I've been really unhappy this last week, but one may not have been able to tell. I've been keeping my mind extremely busy with friends. Different adventures, movie/dinner nights, parties, etc. All to keep me as occupied as possible. The thing is, when I stop doing and start thinking. I hate when I think. Every time I do that, I get super depressed. I googled some things this last week. One search revealed that I should try and think of only the bad things that happened in our relationship. But the thing is, I have the most difficult time doing that. Most of the things that suck were happening when he was unhappy. I cannot blame him for treating me poorly while considering a break. I can blame him for considering it, but that isn't really fair either. There were the occasional pet peeves, but even those, I can live with. The truth of the matter is we never had a fight that lasted more than 2 hours. We always solved our problems together. Discussing the event, expressing feelings, and working out a solution. We never went to be angry, and feelings never had the opportunity to fester and build. I'm so lost right now. I need him. I need him to come back to me. But if he's the person I've known for so long, then I know that he will. In one fashion or another.